On the Bathroom Wall

I have been battling a cloud of stress and anxiety for a couple of days now. Which is really strange because I don't usually struggle with pushing past moments like that. I won't discuss the circumstances because that's not what this is for, but sometimes putting something into words can help in the process of dealing with it.

I'm having one of those moments in life where what you know is having an all out fist-fight with what you feel. Both are realities: one can be altered, one cannot. What I feel? Stressed, edgy, anxious, low on patience, overwhelmed by tasks that normally wouldn't phase me. And for those of you who know me, that is not the usual me. What do I know? That God is still with me. That "in quietness and confidence is my strength". That a few genuine moments in His presence will soothe this pressing emotional dam inside of me.

This is different than the devotionals that I write. This is a blog. A digital corner to verbally unwind in. To work through issues and maybe encourage others while they unravel their own thoughts and processes. And I really need to unravel.

"Only in returning to Me and resting in Me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength." Isaiah 30:15

This is my favorite verse. I grew up staring at a little plaque that for years was hanging on the bathroom wall in our home. I was talking with one of my sisters yesterday and she quoted that very verse to me. I told her "That's one of my favorite verses." To which she replied, "Mine too!" I don't think my mom realized that a simple little nick-knack would have such a profound effect on her kids. Or maybe she did, because it has lodged itself firmly into our minds and hearts.

I had a dear young friend give me a special order book bag for Christmas. On it she had embroidered that verse as well with a hummingbird in the center. So I find myself surround by and reminded of a very central truth. Rest in God produces inner quietness and confidence. 

So this is my task this week. To find some special, intentional time with my Savior, above my usual devotional habits to just be quiet in His presence. I know that I need it. Through a house with a husband, 4 kids (and accompanying friends), a dog and a cat and a myriad of the week's usual activities, I will hunt.

My husband asked me this morning "Is there anything I can do?" when my response to his question of how I was doing today was less than enthusiastic. To which I replied, "No." But I was wrong. He can pray for me. He can give me a few extra hugs, and if I explain to him what I really need, he'll bend over backwards to help me carve out a little extra time for that quietness. It's just who he is.

Jeanette